Evolving a new way of trainer assessment

Penny Spawforth, CNVC certified NVC trainer shares her personal account of what it was like for her as a community member at a certification assessment in Wales, UK

As I headed up through the mountains from SW Wales where I live to the North coast for the first CNVC assessment weekend to happen in Wales, I reflected on the stunning beauty of my adopted country. Knowing that many of the people coming to the event would be coming from abroad I was a little sad to not be sharing the journey experience with my fellow attendees.

Arriving the day before the start of the assessment, I was welcomed and hosted (as was Annie, a candidate attending the event) by local certified trainer Rik Midgley.  This allowed Annie and I to rest, land and experience yet more panoramic mountainous beauty straight from his house and garden.

In the morning we traveled the 18 miles down to the coastal town of Penmaenmawr – named after the mountain to the West – literally meaning “Head of the Great Stone”. The town had an attractive, old-fashioned seaside resort feel to it, and the mansion house where we resided for the weekend had mature well-kept gardens and lovely views of the sea. It was run by a group of nuns who looked after us very well.

Raising awareness of perception of power

On Friday morning thirty of us came together in the main group room, after our first meal at the venue. We introduced ourselves (candidates being assessed, assessors, and community members made up of certified trainers, candidates not being assessed, people considering becoming certification candidates, supporters etc).

We  made preliminary connections to the program and we were invited to name and write our learning edges and to pay attention to what we might be experiencing in relation to people we perceive to have authority. I enjoyed this awareness raising of something we might otherwise have unconscious assumptions about. I remember putting my assessor on a pedestal in the early days of learning NVC. It was quite a journey for me to knock her off and to see her full humanity! So I was very glad to see that any perceptions of ‘power-over’ I was holding for the current assessors were minimal in comparison.

Creating the schedule collaboratively

We were informed about the packed weekend we had ahead of us! In total, we had the arrival afternoon and evening plus two full days and the last half day.

The candidates were invited to create the schedule for the main part of the event – having been given all the elements that needed to be timetabled. These included, sessions for role-plays, presentations, answering “Frequently Asked Questions”, demonstrating self-empathy and (optionally) to hold a space to explore any unresolved conflicts. The scheduling process happened “fishbowl style” meaning that the rest of us sat outside their circle witnessing them collaborate over this task. 

I found this somewhat painful to watch as they had 30 minutes and the first 10-15 or so were taken up with things not associated with the task at hand – this included for example, a connection round – which was a nice idea in theory but I found myself clock watching and having a sense of “not enough time” (which indeed there wasn’t as the task was not completed). Of course it is easy to judge from the outer circle!  I am sure I would have been nervous in those circumstances – wanting to be seen to be ‘doing NVC properly’ by those watching perhaps, or imagining that things would be more efficient as a result of creating connection first. In true NVC style though, it didn’t matter that the task wasn’t completed – no down-marked grades!  – it was more about the attempted collaborative process than the end result. The rest could be completed with less eyes watching and less time pressure!

Each day gave us several sessions to choose from. These parallel sessions gave opportunities for smaller groups.  Not always an easy choice – do I go to someone’s presentation or watch/join in with FAQs? I remember that the presentation was the most nerve-wracking part of my own assessment so I decided to go to all presentations – to learn and to support – and maybe to heal even… I had loved all aspects of my assessment bar this! I also made sure to attend at least one session of all types.

Witnessing an unresolved conflict with an assessor

One of the most touching sessions in the weekend for me was witnessing an unresolved conflict between a certified trainer and their original assessor. The honesty of the expression, the rawness of feeling, the compassionate receiving and the transformation by the end was very inspiring to watch. Both people had empathic support available and a group of us witnessed the trainer speak candidly about what it was like at times during their years of assessment – naming triggers that had come up, owning the triggers as their own and really allowing themself to be honest without blame. At times the emotions were strong and the assessor quietly and openly gave space for the trainer to express without rushing in to defend. It was clear to see how much connection between them was available by the end.

The role of community members

I didn’t know what to expect from my role as ‘community member’. The only experience I had to draw on was my own assessment process where the idea and implementation of community members had not yet been formed and then another assessment I witnessed where this concept was being trialed – there were only a few of us at that time. 

In this event we numbered twenty! (Double the number of candidates and assessors combined).

Now, as I reflect on this latest experience I can see many valuable reasons to have had us there – not just the ones I originally imagined. First, the obvious one was for us to be audience members to the presentations and role-plays. We could become whoever they wanted us to be (teachers, work colleagues, general public, people who had already had some NVC training, beginners etc). We could also give feedback both from the roles we played and as a witness to the presentations. 

We also got to practice with them – for example, I joined a small FAQs session where we had an empty ‘hot seat’ chair. Any of us could sit in that chair and have a go at answering a question – not just the candidates. I loved the playfulness of this as we were encouraged to jump in or out of the chair at any point – we could have a go, leave in mid sentence if the seat got too “hot” and let someone else jump in. This took some of the pressure off the candidate and gave us all opportunities to practice too.

We were also a resource for support, connection, feedback, empathy and compassionate witnessing – for the assessors as well as the candidates.

As for community members – speaking for myself, it was a very enriching experience. I learned from the different ways candidates presented NVC, I got to practice answering a FAQ in the ‘hot seat’, I got to learn what it was like to be in ‘beginner’s’ or ‘teachers’ shoes for example when role-playing, I got to connect with old friends and colleagues and make new ones. At one point I asked for feedback for myself from an assessor and learnt from it – both from the feedback itself and from the awareness of the greater resilience in me these days to receive it.

Making decisions together

The candidates were each told on the evening that they were being recommended for certification. This was different to my certification – and the other one I witnessed where we met on the last day and each attendee (including the candidate) named whether we thought the candidates were ready to be recommended. This time there was a process on the Sunday evening involving assessors and candidates. My understanding for this change is that this new (to me) way is to lessen anxiety in candidates – so they are not left wondering overnight. I can imagine this works better for candidates though I was a little disappointed in this change as I had been quite moved by the decision being held collectively on the last day (even in my own assessment) – it felt like it embraced the new paradigm element of ‘making the decision together’.

On the last day, The assessors named what they were looking for in their willingness to recommend candidates for certification. I really resonated with the naming of a particular quality they were looking out for – not mastery, not perfection of skills but of awareness. Reminding us of this helped us all remember that we don’t need to live and share NVC perfectly or have full command in every moment. They named that this assessment is one point along the journey of discovering, living and sharing NVC – each of us having our own learning edges.

Each candidate was named and appreciated for the individual qualities and gifts they bring to life and to this new ‘title’ of Certified Trainer along with the journey they have traveled to get to this moment.

Gratitude

My journey to this assessment was supported by many people. I give thanks and gratitude to Shona (one of the UK assessors), who initially encouraged me to come and to ask for financial support – initially from the assessment team and then from our NVC UK network. Also to the (at least) ten people from our network who made financial donations towards my place To the assessors and Sandrine who accepted my place and to Rik for hosting me the night before and providing delicious food and lovely company.