Perhaps there have been times during stressful communications when you have experienced feeling ‘stuck’ in the belief of the wrongness of the other and have found no capacity other than to speak terms of their blame? Or perhaps in some difficult situation you have experienced a deflated loss of energy, a heaviness, a sense of overwhelm that could coincide with thinking like ‘I am not enough…’ I personally found huge relief in the understanding that there was a biological root for my apparent incapacity, which could support me to reconnect and find ways of responding that were more effective.
The autonomic nervous system (ANS)
is the part of the nervous system responsible for control of the bodily functions which are not consciously directed, and include breathing, heartbeat, digestion and much of our thinking. Polyvagal theory recognises that the ANS has evolved in 3 distinct stages:
The dorsal vagal nerve system is the earliest part of the ANS. When it is engaged through relaxed connection, gratitude or meditative processes, it may sing with a resonance of awe, peace and oneness with life. In its protective mode, it has various degrees of shutting down which are characterised by numbing, dissociation, distraction and denial, and in extreme cases, immobilisation and loss of consciousness.
The sympathetic vagal nerve system was next to evolve. It seeks safety, and acts automatically and impulsively with learned habitual behaviour such that I am neither present or in aware choice. Its reaction is characterised by feelings of constrictive tension and energetic activation. In its survival protective mode the two possible responses are to either protect with aggression or withdraw in defence; fight or flight.
The ventral vagal nerve system is the most recent branch of our ANS and brings the ability for connection and social engagement while overseeing the entire ANS and guiding it towards healthy homeostasis. Ventral offers the capacity to have a more nuanced and meaningful connection with others. The ventral vagal nerve connects the third of our neurons which are located around our heart with our face and hands. Awareness of sensations in the hands and face can allow insight into what is energetically alive.
Understanding the autonomic hierarchy helps us to understand what happens when we experience overwhelm, as the nervous system responds by retreating down the hierarchy into a more primitive state. From vagal it drops into sympathetic with a rush of defensive energy. Access to the rational thinking of the cortex is reduced enabling a rapid reaction in flight or fight. If neither flight or fight reactions lead to a perception of safety, the overwhelm continues with a dropping into dorsal. Here the protective reaction is to dissociate or numb, turning off the capacity to hear the frightening message.
A healthy ANS is flexible with the ability to adjust to the demands of daily life. It is characterised by increased activity in the ventral vagal, which is indicated through heart rate variability, and is often referred to as vagal tone. There are many different exercises that can support the capacity to influence our position on the ANS hierarchy and ground in being in ventral. For example, nurturing awareness of feelings in the face and hands, awareness of peripheral vision, square breathing, or a few slow out-breaths while feeling for a consistent tone in the touch of the breath. This deliberate focus upon the internal felt sense can act to nurture our capacity to be present.If I can notice the felt impact upon my body of stressful communication and receive it as a reminder to pause, perhaps I can sustain my inner connection and keep my ventral vagal nerve online. In doing so I am nurturing my ability to create some sort of link to the world of choice, compassion and uncertainty. Sustaining this internal awareness may lead to a relaxation of tension, an easing of the breath, and movement towards a sense of curiosity in what could be going on for the other person. Nurturing of NVC consciousness begins with a break in the habitual flow of the mind, a moment of awareness and a pause to allow connection to the internal world.
This pause is at the heart of NVC consciousness!
Rik Midgley is an CNVC certified trainer who is passionate about welcoming and befriending the tangible voice of the body as a foundation for NVC, and as a prerequisite for addressing both trauma and sustainable social change. In addition to his NVC work, he offers one to one spaces for trauma, addiction, anxiety and depression. His website is www.RikMidgley.co.uk
This is an abridged version, a full, detailed account can be viewed here –https://rikmidgley.co.uk/polyvagal-theory/