Ginny Copley writes about her favourite things at a Nonviolent Communication and dance retreat she attended, led by NVC Trainer Cath Burke
Three of my favourite things are: compassionate communication, dancing and beautiful views. So when I found out that Cath Burke was going to be facilitating an NVC and dance retreat in Devon, I knew it was something I didn’t want to miss. I felt nervous of course, to be spending a week with strangers, I was a little scared, but mostly I felt excited and grateful to be able to spend time learning and of course busting a move on the dance floor! Over 5 days we explored a range of topics and did some wonderful dancing – flowing movement accompanied by great music. Uplifting, moving, delicate and soothing. It was such a pleasure to move each day, getting in touch with different parts of the body, showing feelings through movement, connecting to myself, the group and the universe through the music and energy on the dance floor.
NVC dance floors
We also took part in some NVC ‘dance floor’ sessions, moving physically into different states. For example, during a ‘transforming the pain’ dance floor (created by Gina Lawrie, Bridget Belgrave, Robert Gonzales and Susan Skye) we worked in small groups, supporting each other in expressing thoughts of judgement, criticism and blame. Next came the opportunity to differentiate – to read back these thoughts with the preface ‘I’m telling myself…’, or ‘the story in my head is….’ When the ‘dancer’ felt ready and less entangled with these thoughts they could turn towards the part of the dance floor where feelings, needs and requests could be explored. I witnessed a person with deep pain in relation to an experience move into a space of clarity and compassion. It was inspiring and beautiful. This session deepened my awareness that when an event or interaction is painful, thoughts around that event can bring more pain. By getting distance from these thoughts and disentangling them, we can reconnect to our hearts and transform the pain of unmet needs.
Identifying glimmers
This particular residential workshop included some learning about polyvagal theory and our nervous system and I would like to give a special mention to the exercise of identifying our ‘glimmers’. These micro moments of pleasure can combine to bring about a change in physiological state that enhances connection and engagement. Some of the group enjoyed the work around glimmers so much that they created a song all about them to the tune of ‘These are a few of my favourite things’. On our last evening we sang it around the fire – one of my favourite memories of the week. I’m so glad I took a chance, found my courage and joined this retreat. Cath facilitated it beautifully, with clarity, warmth and humour and I met some wonderful people, ate delicious food and was immersed in NVC. This experience met many needs including community, learning, play, joy and connection.
Ginny attended this retreat in April 2022. It was originally scheduled for April 2020, so had to be postponed twice due to Covid. There were 12 attendees and two assistants. Cath is running 3 NVC and dance residential workshops in Devon annually, in winter, spring and summer, each with a different theme. To find out more see – https://www.empathymatters.net/august-immersive-residential-workshop-with-movement-and-dance
Ginny Dawn Copley (Teacher, NVC Supporter)