Keep your NVC fit: Roleplay

About Roleplay 

This month we will focus on Role Play, which is a practice to give you a difference embodied experience of NVC inspired dialogue.

Fears for upcoming difficult situations are based on past experiences of similar kinds of conversations. These memories sit in the nervous system as sensations, images, fragments – and they are still open (not integrated) and alive because the amigdala (the danger alert part of our brain) does not timecode these experiences, it records the threat as real and current, in order that we are awake to danger.

Here’s the opening: since these memories are not fully integrated, they’re open to being changed if we give ourselves a different experience. So for example, if we respond with:

• Warmth instead of coldness

• Gentleness instead of urgency

• Understanding instead of isolation

and by naming emotions with warmth and curiosity, without trying to fix or change us, it reaches the amygdala. The nervous system goes, “Oh… someone is here with me now. I’m not alone.” And new neural connections form, gently layering in safety where there was once fear. This is how we resource ourselves with roleplay.

Specific instructions for the session

To practice roleplay in a short space of time, it’s really helpful to get clear on what you actually want to say –  Observation, Feeling, Need, Request. 

For example,

For a situation where you are struggling with Unclear Instructions, your Observation, Feeling, Need, Request, could be

Observation:
“Sometimes I’m given tasks without clear instructions.”

Feeling:
“I feel confused.”

Need:
“I need clarity so I can do the work properly.”

Request:
“Can you please explain or show me exactly how you want the task done?”

You will say the thing you want to say and the roleplay begins there.

There are more examples of Observation, Feeling, Need, Request  here.

If you don’t want to bring a situation of your own, you can use one of the examples and roleplay that.

Before you come, you can review your input from your Foundation training and read or listen to this short post about the purpose and practice of roleplay

About Keep your NVC fit

Keep your NVC fit is a monthly series to practice 3 core NVC practices

• 4 steps of Self-Empathy
• Empathic Listening
• Role Plays of Difficult Conversations

Here is a short about Keep Your NVC Fit

Practical and Logistics

This is a low-cost drop in, you can come once or every month.

There is a no cost option, please only use that if it would prevent you from coming.

This is open to people who have done a Foundation training or Intro to NVC. This is not a complete beginners class, although relative beginners (post foundation) are welcome.

Disclaimer / Self Check

Nonviolent Communication is not therapy and is not a substitute for therapy. This practice session may not be for you:

• If you have a sense that what you want to explore might be challenging for others,
• if it would be triggering to listen to others speaking about difficult events,
• if other people’s beginner-intermediate level learning of NVC might land awkwardly for you.

If you have any questions, please ask.