Remembering Jo: A Life of Curiosity and Connection

Written by: Kirstin Heidler
3min read

She and I were an unlikely duet. With more than 40 years between us one might have thought that Jo would have had reservations towards the naivete of youth or that I might have found her inflexible.

But I suppose neither of us quite fit the norm in this. 

Jo remained curious and open to learning until the very end. She was a certified trainer for Nonviolent Communication, a professional clarinet player and a lover of Staffordshire Terriers. To me she was a mentor, a colleague I developed courses on conflict with, co-conspirator in the Conflict Transformation Wave, mediator in a personal relationship and friend.

I can still remember the unique blend of dignity and respect with which she held herself while at the same time bringing lightness and sparkle.

Jo passed on the 6th of November 2025. She was 79.

I miss her company and will remain grateful for the brief time we had together and all I learned from her. And I know she would have loved to stay longer.

Her life modelled curiosity and openness in a way that truly transformed others.

When Jo became seriously ill, what struck me most was not only the uncertainty of the medical situation, but the way love gathered around her. In mid 2024 she was diagnosed with a rare form of leukaemia, one that even the doctors were unsure how best to treat. After an initially hopeful response to chemotherapy, her health remained fragile, even though for a while things appeared stable. In July 2025 she was admitted to hospital with severe swelling in glands on her neck and impaired kidney function. At that point she was given only weeks to live, a prognosis she gently and quietly exceeded by several months.

What I believe carried her through that time was not just medical care, but the extraordinary web of connection around her. In a WhatsApp group Jo had created to share updates about her health, more and more friends and colleagues gathered, sharing memories and messages of love, and coordinating visits. Jo was held in a field of affection, respect, and gratitude. Even as her body weakened, her mind stayed sharp and visitors to her shared impressions in the group. Jo carried herself with quiet dignity and never sought recognition, yet the stories shared in that group and after her death revealed just how deeply she had touched people’s lives.

In her lifetime Jo touched many people with her presence, gentleness and care. For over a decade, Jo became the go-to person to support conflicts within the UK NVC community of sharers. She gave of herself within the gift economy culture – many times doing the work for no financial return. Many people who are NVC trainers in the UK now, had their first introduction to NVC with Jo. Jo was always curious about how to meet people well, especially in moments of conflict, where she saw not failure, but possibility.

May Jo, as our ancestor, continue to give us counsel, just as many of us already received it during her lifetime.